John Unger: A letter to the Canadian Mennonite Brethren Conference National Faith and Life Team

 

What does it mean for the shepherd to leave the flock to search for a lost sheep in the context of the LGBTQ+ conversation? 

That was the question in John Unger’s mind when he sent a reflection on that parable, and the parables of the lost coin and lost son, to the National Faith and Life Team (NFLT) in July.

“The Mennonite Brethren Conference in Canada has lost some people who are LGBTQ+, but nobody seems to be looking for them,” said Unger, a former MB pastor, of those who have walked away from the church and even from faith. because they didn’t feel welcome in their churches. 

“Or, if we have gone looking for them, we tell them they are welcome to come back but only on our terms,” he added.

This goes against the letter and spirit of Jesus’ parables, he said, which emphasize the sense of loss the shepherd, woman and father feel over their lost sheep, coins and child. 

“We are losing parts of our family, people slipping out of churches unseen,” he said. “The role of spiritual leaders is to notice.” 

This isn’t only a question for the NFLT, Unger said; it’s a question for the whole MB conference.

“What are we losing? Why are we not following the example of Jesus by searching?

So far, Unger has not heard back from the NFLT. In a message from an NFLT member, it was noted the lack of response can be attributed to the NFLT director being on extended leave, plus summer vacations for other members. 

His reflection is below. 

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On finding what was lost, and holding the family together 

I’ve been pondering the escalation of losses in Jesus; parable of sheep, coins, and sons, particularly as it relates to inclusion/exclusion of LGBTQ+ persons in our churches. 

Lost Sheep 

In Matthew’s telling (18:12ff), a sheep strays, whereupon the shepherd leaves the 99 on the mountain and goes in search of the missing sheep.

Luke’s account (ch. 15) makes no mention of a straying sheep. “Which one of you, having 100 sheep and having lost one of them . . . ”

In the morning, the shepherd had 100 sheep; at end of the day, there are 99. Distracted shepherding? Somehow, somewhere, sometime during the day, the shepherd lost a sheep. 

Most livestock farmers would be quite satisfied with a 1% loss ratio. Many pastors and leaders are okay with it, too. Losing a gay or lesbian member now and then can be expected. Our conference might even lose a church or two.  Limiting our losses to 1-in-a-100 is probably our best possible outcome. 

To this shepherd, however, losing one sheep is not okay. Every sheep matters.

The Lost Coin

Again, for whatever reason, the woman has lost a coin. The loss ratio, however, has increased to 10%. If the coin was part of a 10-piece set, the loss in value is even higher.

There is a frantic search, followed by a joy-filled celebration. What was lost has been found!

In our context, the loss ratio increases as families and friends of LGBTQ+ also leave. The next generation of young people wonder whether they even want to be baptized in this church. Have we noticed? 

The Lost Son(s) 

And then, of course, there is the father with two sons. The actions and reactions of the two (leaving, returning, and walking away) divide the family and threaten its future.  

Forget losses in the 1% or even 10% range.  Here everything is at risk.  

This father faces two challenges: To welcome and reintegrate the younger son back into family life, and, at the same time, to persuade the older son not to leave the party. 

Was the father successful in gathering both sons to his table? We're still waiting for the answer to that question. 

Our Challenge

All of this raises some questions: What would it mean for pastors and conference leaders to “leave the 99” to go looking for lost ones?

What might a “lost but found”; celebration look like?

What would it take to persuade “the 99” (including some pastors) not to walk away?

It’s a tough challenge, retrieving those we have lost while holding the family together.  But that is the task facing parents, pastors, and denominational leaders.  

Lord, have mercy and be gracious to us all.

John Unger is a retired Mennonite Brethren pastor. In June 2021, he and others launched A Time to Listen to hear stories of LGBTQ+ individuals from MB churches across Canada. 

“If all truth is God’s truth, then we should not be afraid to hear the stories of people who are (or used to be) part of our churches.  Wouldn’t it be lovely if our grassroots listening project could come alongside the confessional and pastoral leadership of the National Faith and Life Team so that, together, we can find constructive, imaginative ways forward?”