I attended the June 7 The Meeting House Town Hall meeting, the one where it was revealed there were 38 reports of, or inquiries about, clergy sexual misconduct and abuse at that southern Ontario church.
I wrote about that meeting in Anabaptist World.
A few impressions.
First, I give full credit to leadership at The Meeting House for facing this head on and dealing with it in an open and transparent manner.
Even though none of the members of the Board of Overseers was in leadership when the abuses and misconduct happened, they have owned it and promised to see the investigations through to the end—to “turn the lights” on to it, no matter what the investigations reveal.
Second, full respect to Jennifer Hryniw, the member of the Board of Overseers tasked with detailing the findings of the reports and the investigations to this point.
She brought a sense of sadness and heaviness to her sharing that was totally appropriate and genuine, considering the subject matter.
The long pauses she took between sentences as she shared spoke volumes, and helped listeners enter the deep sense of pain she was feeling about what had happened.
Third, I didn’t think there was sufficient time for lament during the meeting. I acknowledge it might have been happening in other forums, but it was lacking June 8.
Although the pain and suffering of victims was acknowledged and named, the second part of the meeting felt too upbeat and positive to me—God is going to help us through this! God has plans for us!
As one person put it: “They talked about the latest developments for about 15 minutes total, (out of about 90 minutes), took a very few questions, and then spent the rest of the time being inordinately excited about the future of the church. It was like whiplash: 'We own this, but can you all look over here now and see all the exciting things that are happening next? We’re done looking at the ugly stuff.'”
“As a congregation they need to sit with this and grieve this if they want to actually get to the point of meaningful change, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. Every single church and organization always skips right over this step. And that is a key reason nothing ever changes.”
For me, talk about future plans for the church might have been better left for another time; let the gravity of what has happened sink in.
Fourth, I appreciated how leadership indicated this was not a matter of a few bad apples doing a few bad things, but a culture problem in the church in the past.
From what was said at the meeting, and from talking to former members and insiders, it is clear there was a workplace culture issue that not only permitted this kind of activity—but enabled it and stifled any concerns about it.
This was made plain by Hryniw, who said: “We also heard stories of brave individuals who tried to address the culture of immorality in the past. They felt shut down and alienated by the church.”
This “culture of immorality” wasn’t only about clergy sexual misconduct, she said, but also about other leaders and staff who engaged in sexual misconduct, adultery and “troubling” emotional abuse.
Finally, while church leaders indicated giving is down 30-40%, they didn’t indicate what has happened to attendance. One could speculate that it, like giving, is down, too.
According to one expert who consults with churches that have experienced clergy sexual abuse, a decrease in attendance and giving is normal after an occurrence like that.
:That 30-40% number is par for the course,” for churches that experience clergy sexual abuse, she said.
“When I have consulted with churches going through this, I usually tell them they can expect this and should prepare.”
Not only that, over 50% of churches that experience misconduct will close their doors within five years, she said, citing research in that area.
“When I look at the churches I have worked with, those figures are about right,” she said. “Half the churches I consulted with closed within five years. And they were vibrant and engaged churches before that.”
It will be interesting to see how the Meeting House will fare, she added, adding that “word on the street is that many people have exited worshipping at the Meeting House . . . From what I have heard, many have just left the church, not going other places.”
Church members are secondary victims, in a situation like this, she said. “They experience a huge loss of trust in authority figures, and even loss of faith in God.”
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