Beauty for Ashes from Murder: Wilma Derksen's Story

“God can take anything that is negative and turn it into something good."

The Internet lost its mind last month after an Oklahoma state Representative—that nobody outside of that state had ever heard of before—defended an anti-abortion bill by saying that even in pregnancies that result from rape or incest, “God can bring beauty from ashes.”

“Republican lawmaker says rape and incest part of God’s will,” was typical of the headlines about comments made by George Faught of Muskogee.

Faught made the statement during debate about a bill in that state that will outlaw abortions based solely on a diagnosis of Down syndrome or other genetic abnormalities.

When another state representative asked Faught, a churchgoer, if he thought pregnancies that resulted from rape and incest were the “will of God,” Faught replied that “the Lord uses all circumstances”—adding that the bill had nothing to do with either circumstance.

He maybe should have stopped there; he was in a state house, after all, not a church.

But he went on to say that “obviously if it happens in someone’s life, it may not be the best thing that ever happened . . . so you’re saying that God is not sovereign with every activity that happens in someone’s life and can’t use anything and everything in someone’s life, and I disagree with that.”

Whether or not you agree with Faught, the idea that suffering has a bigger purpose, and that it can be redeemed and turned into something good, has deep roots in many religions.

The phrase Faught used—“beauty for ashes”—comes from Isaiah 61:3, where God promises the nation of Israel that one day he will replace mourning and despair with joy and praise.

In the New Testament, the apostle Paul counseled Christians to rejoice in suffering because it produces endurance, hope and character. In the book of Romans, he added that “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

In the fourth century Saint Augustine added that "God would not allow any evil to exist unless out of it he could draw a greater good. This is part of the wisdom and goodness of God."

Someone who has struggled to understand those sentiments is Wilma Derksen. Her daughter, Candace, was murdered 33 years ago.

“My own story is one of beauty out of ashes,” she told me. “God can take anything that is ugly, violent, negative and turn it into something good. That’s a promise.”

Derksen, who has just authored a new book titled The Way of Letting Go: One Woman’s Walk Toward Forgiveness (Zondervan), is quick to note that such a realization can only happen retrospectively.

“You can’t see it at the time,” she says, remembering her own experience. “It takes a long time to understand how things can be used for good, and there are no guarantees. Some evil acts can destroy people.”

She also doesn’t believe that it was God’s will that her daughter be murdered—that God caused it so that she could help others in similar situations.

“God has done a lot of good out of Candace’s murder, but he doesn’t condone murder,” she says.

Violence, she adds, “doesn’t contain the seed of goodness. God can make something good out of bad, but I had to decide that—I had to be part of it with God.”

To actually turn the ashes into beauty, she needed to “dump a good yard of soil on the ashes and plant a seed of goodness . . . there has to be a massive intervention to redeem the barren land left by a negative evil act.”

And even though her daughter’s murder has resulted in “amazing” opportunities to help many others, “we should always remember that there is huge loss,” she states. “Even if something turns out for good, a loss is still a loss . . . Candace is still gone.”

“I can never thank God for the murder of our daughter,” she concludes. “That was an entirely evil, destructive force at work.”

But, she says, “I can thank God, the beautiful creator gardener, who helped us find the seeds and then to plant and nourish these seeds of goodness which grew and produced unexpected fruit in the strangest of places, a transformational picture of beauty for ashes that has surprised even us.”

After they saw friends struggling to have a baby, the Christian band Gungor wrote asong titled Beautiful Things.

“All this pain

I wonder if I'll ever find my way,

I wonder if my life could really change, at all.

All this earth,

Could all that is lost ever be found?

Could a garden come out from this ground, at all?

You make beautiful things.

You make beautiful things out of the dust.

You make beautiful things,

You make beautiful things out of us.”

Wilma Derksen—and countless other people of faith—have come to believe that is true. 

In Wake of Charleston Shootings, Should Places of Worship Get Guns?

While most of North America is expressing admiration for the way family and friends of those killed in Charleston, South Carolina are responding with forgiveness to murderer Dylann Roof, others are using the situation to help pastors and other church members use guns to defend themselves. This isn’t the first time that has happened, as I wrote about in 2007 about the shootings at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs. It also raises the question of how places of worship should prepare for emergencies.

I wasn’t shocked to learn about the church shooting at New Life Church in Colorado Springs in October. Guns are so ubiquitous in that country, and shootings in public places so common, that it hardly seems unusual any more—even in a church.

I was surprised, however, to learn that New Life Church utilizes between 15-20 security guards, some of whom are armed, to patrol the premises during its services.

Jeanne Assam, the security guard who killed the gunman, was stationed in the church's central rotunda as part its overall evacuation and defence plan.

Assam, who once worked as a police officer, attends one of the morning services and then volunteers as a guard during the other service.

“That's the reality of our world," said New Life pastor Brady Boyd about the church’s security system, which includes an evacuation plan to hustle worshippers into secure areas in case of emergencies.

“I don't think any of us grew up in churches where that was the reality, but today it is.”

New Life is not exceptional. It is becoming more common for U.S. churches to have guards and security plans. It’s particularly true for mega churches, which can attract thousands of people to worship services—and where weekly offerings can reach as much as $100,000.

Concern for security in places of worship has spawned an industry devoted to helping protect churches and other places of worship.

One such business was Church Security Services. Now apparently out of business (as of November, 2017), its website listed recent crimes in churches—an assault on a woman in Florida, shootings in Louisiana and Missouri, robberies in Maryland and New York.

It asks: “Does this seem like a safe place to have your family?”

“Churches are really easy pickings if you think about it,” says Dale Annis, who directed the company. “You've got several hundred people, all in one place with their heads down and their eyes closed. I tell my security team to pray with their eyes open.”

Concern about security is probably not at the top of the list for most Canadian churches—most Christians are more worried about how to get more people in than ways to screen visitors in order to keep some out.

But Jews and Muslims have had to pay attention to this issue for a long time.

After 9/11, many mosques stepped up security; the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) offers a Muslim Community Safety Kit on its web site that suggests, among other things, installing alarms, cutting down high vegetation around the building, installing exterior lighting and creating a security committee.

Many synagogues have also developed procedures to handle things like telephone threats, hate mail and potential letter and parcel bombs.

Although churches in Canada will likely never face the kind of violence that is so prevalent in the U.S., it’s still appropriate to prepare for worst-case scenarios by having evacuation plans in case of fire or storms, or plans to respond to unruly or violent visitors.

"No one enjoys talking about safety and security issues, particularly in the church,” says Jeff Hanna, a former detective, pastor and author of Safe and Secure: The Alban Guide to Protecting Your Congregation.

"But we are called to be good stewards. That includes protecting our buildings, assets, and most importantly, people."

Can Religion Help At-Risk Youth?

Another young person in the care of Child and Family Services was assaulted this week, bringing to mind the painful case of Tina Fontaine, who was murdered in summer. But what can be done to help? Lots of ideas are proffered, but nobody mentions religion--even though studies who being religious can make a difference, as I wrote in 2004.

What can be done to alleviate youth crime and help at-risk youth in Winnipeg?

The question arises after the latest incident, where a 17-year-old girl was mugged by 10 teenage girls on Portage Avenue last Tuesday.

The victim's father spoke for all of us when he said: "I feel sorry for this city. There is a major social problem. I don't know how it can be solved."

Fortunately, many people are trying to tackle the issue, focusing on things like poverty, education, employment and family breakdown, among other things.

But one approach that never seems to get mentioned is religion—which is strange since numerous studies show that youth who are religious are less likely to do drugs or commit crimes.

A 1985 study by Harvard economist Richard B. Freeman found that church attendance is a better predictor of who escapes poverty, drug addiction and crime than family income, family structure and other variables.

Christian Smith, who directed a study for the National Study of Youth and Religion put it this way:

“Kids who go to church regularly or who say that religion is important in their lives are much less likely to be involved in various forms of substance abuse, get into trouble, commit crimes, are less involved in violence, to have school problems and have difficulties with their parents.”

“They are more likely to behave safely, try to stay healthy and be involved in volunteering, sports and other community activities."

Another study, done by the U.S. Centre for Research on Religion and Urban Civil Society, found that religious youth are less likely to commit crimes, fight, drink-and-drive and carry weapons or use drugs and alcohol.

According to the Centre's director, Byron Johnson, "religion is one of the best predictors of avoiding crime and delinquency."

There’s also a link between religion and higher self-esteem. 

The U.S. National Study of Youth and Religion found a statistical association between the two when it studied 12th-graders who went to religious services at least once a week, or who professed deeply held spiritual views.

According to the study, teens who said religion was important were significantly more likely than non-religious students to enjoy life, think their lives were useful, feel hopeful about their futures, be satisfied with their lives and enjoy being in school.

Why would going to church, temple, synagogue or mosque make such a big difference for youth?

According to Glen Elder, who has studied the connection between youth, poverty, crime and religion, "what you have in the role of the religious community is a selected group of people who share values and are committed to the success of the child. Somebody always has his hand on your back."

Of course, just going to religious services iisn't a panacea for a young person who lives in a gang-filled inner-city neighbourhood, or who has to deal with physical or sexual abuse. Many more things need to done and addressed.

But at a time when we need every tool in the toolbox to help at-risk youth, religion is one thing that is almost taboo to mention.

But maybe we need a few brave politicians, social workers, police, judges and others to ask the question: Can being religious make a difference for at-risk youth and their families?

The answer seems to be yes.

Forgiveness, Restoration and Terrorism: The Case of Omar Khadr

Canadian Omar Khadr, who was convicted of war crimes committed as a 15-year-old in Afghanistan in 2002, wants to be released from prison in Alberta while he appeals his sentence. Now 28, Khadr says he only plead guilty to get out of Guantanamo. Many people have vouched for him, saying that he is a very different person today than when he was forced to fight as a child. This includes Christian friends at Kings College in Edmonton, who also see his case as a matter of justice. 

A cornerstone of Christian belief is forgiveness, mercy and the restoration of the sinful individual. But does message that extend to someone convicted of being involved in terrorism? Arlette Zinck believes it does.

Zinck, an associate professor of English at King's University College in Edmonton, has befriended Omar Khadr, who was captured at age 15 in 2002 after a firefight with U.S. troops in Afghanistan.

In a plea bargain, Khadr pleaded guilty to the death of a U.S. soldier, spying, aiding terrorism and attempted murder. He was given an eight-year sentence and sent to Canada in 2012 to serve out his time.

Zinck, 50, became involved with Khadr's case following a visit by his lawyer, Dennis Edney, to the Christian Reformed Church-sponsored school in 2008.

There was "something about his presentation" that moved her and many students at the school, she says.

Zinck decided to write Khadr. After he wrote back, they struck up a correspondence. 

Impressed by his responses, she was soon she providing him with tutorials, sending him books to read and quizzing him on their contents. 

In 2010, Khadr's U.S. military defence team asked her to turn the informal tutoring into a formal lesson plan. She was also invited to travel twice to Cuba to provide in-person instruction.

When Khadr was in prison in Edmonton, she worked with other professors from the school to offer lessons in subjects such as math, literature, history and geography.

One of his favorite books was Rudy Wiebe's classic tale of Mennonites dealing with the impact of war, Peace Shall Destroy Many. Since Wiebe also lives in Edmonton, he also visited Khadr.

"I found him to be a very amenable and understanding young man," says Wiebe, a member of Edmonton's Lendrum Mennonite Brethren Church.

"What he found important in the book was how to live your convictions in a changing world. What do you do about your traditions and teachings when the world is changing?"

For Khadr, who was taken by his father to al-Qaida training camps in Pakistan when he was just 10 years old, it's a chance to get the education he missed out on as a child. 

For Zinck, who was raised Roman Catholic and attends an Anglican church, it is a chance to use her gift of teaching and put into practice her Christian faith.

As a Christian, "I believe in restorative justice," she says, "There is no other kind."

Canada, she says, "has a long and rich tradition of pioneering the best programs in restorative justice. We need to return to a day when we don't seek vengeance but true justice, which is restorative justice... the goal is to renew, restore and reconcile those who have erred, even those who have erred horribly."

This includes Khadr, who she believes has suffered a grave injustice at the hands of the U.S. and Canada.

"The court in Guantanamo was not a legitimate American court," she says. "No American could ever be tried in that court. What happened to Omar shouldn't happen to anyone."

At the same time, she is concerned for the widow of the soldier killed in the firefight that involved Khadr. "She also deserves meaningful support," Zinck says.

She knows not everyone agrees with what she is doing. But she feels that is because many Canadians have only heard one side of Khadr's story -- they don't know enough about how Khadr was also a victim, forced into becoming a child soldier by his father.

As for what all this has meant to her personally, Zinck says her work with Khadr has "affected me very deeply." This includes how she, a Christian, and Khadr, a Muslim, have developed a close friendship across a religious divide.

"When sincere people of faith get together, we can grow in appreciation for things we hold in common, and for the things that split us apart," she says, adding Khadr has "a vibrant and life-giving faith."

She has also discovered "what it means to live purposefully, and in a way that doesn't let me write people off," she says.

Of Khadr's aptitude as a student, Zinck says "he's a remarkably healthy, whole and outward-focused young man who wants to get on with his life. He's a hard worker and he has great academic potential."

As for the lessons themselves, "I enjoy it as much as teaching any student, but there is extra satisfaction in being a witness to the power of the human spirit, how he manages to focus on all that is good."

G.K. Chesterton, Pimlico and Canada's "Most Racist City"

Whenever I need inspiration about how to address huge challenges facing Canada's inner cities, I turned to G.K. Chesterton. I like his suggestion that fixing social ills has as much to do with the heart as the head. And so it's great to recall his sage advice from over 100 years ago as Winnipeg faces charges of racism. 

Is Winnipeg Canada’s most racist city?

That was the charge leveled by a Maclean’s magazine article in January.

The article prompted a lot of response, starting with the obvious: Who decides which is the most racist city, and how do they decide?

It’s not like there’s a scale out there that anyone can use to determine which city has the most racial challenges.

The truth is that every Canadian city has racial issues. As Winnipeg Police Chief Devon Clunis put it: “I don’t believe racism is strictly a Winnipeg issue. It’s a human condition.”

But it is also true that Winnipeg does have a problem when it comes to relations between Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal residents.

Said Winnipeg’s Mayor, Brian Bowman:  “We do have racism in Winnipeg . . . You can’t run away from facts.”

In response to the article, various people and sectors to step up and address the issue—government officials, civic leaders, the private sector and educators.

To date, nobody has asked people of faith what they might do.

People of faith are also challenged by racism. But there is possibly no other sector in Winnipeg that is more involved—financially or as volunteers—in tackling this issue and other issues like poverty, homelessness and addictions.

Through organizations like Siloam Mission, the Salvation Army, Youth for Christ and a host of other organizations supported by places of worship, people of faith are practicing what Christians call The Golden Rule: Do to others as you would be treated yourself.

So it’s a bit strange, on the one hand, that nobody has asked what this pool of energy and resources could do—is already doing—to bridge the divide.

On the other hand, it’s perfectly understandable in our increasingly secular world that nobody thinks there might be a spiritual dimension to this problem.

And there certainly is a spiritual dimension, as British author and Christian philosopher G. K. Chesterton noted over 100 years ago about poverty in his hometown of London.

In his book, titled Orthodoxy, Chesterton drew attention to Pimlico—a nice place to live today, but a foul London slum in 1908, filled with poverty, disease and despair.

But how to fix a problem like Pimlico? The only way, he said, was not to just address the economic, housing and social issues that made it such a terrible place to live.

The answer, he suggested, was a change of perspective.

“The only way out of it seems to be for somebody to love Pimlico,” he said. “To love it with a transcendental tie and without any earthly reason.”

If that happened, “then Pimlico would rise into ivory towers and golden pinnacles . . . if men loved Pimlico as mothers love children, arbitrarily, because it is theirs, Pimlico in a year or two might be fairer than Florence.”

Some people, he noted, “will say that this is a mere fantasy.”

His answer? “This, as a fact, is how cities did grow great . . . men did not love Rome because she was great. She was great because they had loved her.”

In other words, it’s a matter of perspective. Or, as people of faith might say, a change of heart, a spiritual view of the problem.

We need to roll up our sleeves and practice what we preach, of course. 

But our work starts with the belief that God loves this city despite its flaws, and wants the best for it—just as God loves each and every human being.

In 2004, I attended a convention in Pittsburgh. At the time, the city had severe economic problems. It had applied for, and received, distressed community status from the state government. 

The city had, as once city councilor put it, “hit rock bottom.”

One convention speaker was a pastor and community activist. He acknowledged the problems, but said there were two ways to look at Pittsburgh. 

One way was to only see it as “bankrupt and suffering under a lousy provisional administration.” The other was to take a God’s eye view and “see what it can be.” 

He preferred the latter.

So how do we see Winnipeg? How do you see your city? As full of problems, or full of potential? As what it is, or what it can be?

In what Christians call the Old Testament, the ancient Israelites were given some advice by the prophet Jeremiah about Babylon, where they had been taken in captivity.

“Pray to the Lord for it,” he said. “Because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”

It’s still good advice today.

The Other Victims of Crime: Family Members of Criminals

In April the Canadian government tabled Bill C-32, the victim’s bill of rights. It is designed to provide victims of crime and their families with "courtesy, compassion and respect."

This is a good thing. But there’s another group of people out there who also need assistance: Family members of criminals.

In 2013 I wrote about my friend Bill, a deacon in a Roman Catholic parish in Quebec, who was charged with manufacturing and distributing child pornography. In February, he plead guilty to the charges. He will be sentenced in May.

I am sorry for Bill, and for his victims. But as I wrote back then, I feel sorry for his family, too. Bill’s life is now in the hands of the justice system. He has people checking on him, evaluating him, maybe even trying to help rehabilitate him. But who will attend to the needs of his wife and children? As it turns out, there’s not much available for the other victims of crime—the criminal’s loved ones and friends.

What do you do when a friend is accused of a crime? And what if that crime is creating and disseminating child pornography?

Before Christmas, I learned that one of my friends was arrested and charged with that crime.

The news came as a shock. Although he lives in another province and we haven’t communicated for a long time, I have always admired his skills and abilities and valued and appreciated our conversations.

But now he faces very serious charges—and I'm conflicted. On the one hand, how can I not be repulsed by what he is accused of doing?

On the other hand, I want to reach out, to be of support in some way, let him know that I still value our friendship.

But if I do that, will people think I don't take the crime of child pornography seriously? Will I be judged for wanting to still be his friend? Worse, would I be considered guilty by association?

And what about my friend's wife and children—how do they feel? Are they getting the support they need?

It was while pondering this that I realized that crime involves more than just the offender, the victim and the victim's family and friends. It happens to the offender's family and friends, too.

The difference is that while there are services and supports for victims and their families, there isn't much to help people whose loved one commits a crime.

When it comes to support for families of people accused or convicted of crimes, "there isn't much available," says Joan Carolyn, director of Winnipeg’s Circles of Support and Accountability, a church-supported program that helps sex offenders reintegrate into society.

A few services exist, she says, but they are "usually parts of other programs, a subsection of working with offenders."

The result, she says, is that families of the accused or offenders are on their own, struggling to find ways to support their loved one but still take the crime seriously.

One person who knows only too well what it's like to go through this is Canadian Shannon Moroney.  In 2005 her then-husband, Jason Staples, was arrested and jailed for sexually assaulting two women.

Following her husband's arrest, Moroney found herself on her own, the target of accusations, judgment and blame.

“I even lost my job,” she says. “Police victims' services turned me away. Upon learning that I had visited Jason, some people demanded to know what was wrong with me."

Of her experience, Moroney says that families of offenders face an uphill battle to overcome the stigma of guilt by association, and to regain control of their lives.

“At times I felt so vulnerable and desperate that I wished I could trade places with Jason—that I could have 24 hours a day in solitude, a place to think and three meals a day delivered to me—instead of having to mop up the disaster he had left behind," she says.

All this makes me wonder: Is there a place for faith groups to step up and provide a hand? Or even just a listening ear—some way of helping family members cope with the huge disruption in their lives. 

Meantime, I will pray that my friend’s family will find the support they need during this difficult time. I will also pray for those victimized by child pornography.

And I will pray for my friend, too.