John Unger: A letter to the Canadian Mennonite Brethren Conference National Faith and Life Team

 

What does it mean for the shepherd to leave the flock to search for a lost sheep in the context of the LGBTQ+ conversation? 

That was the question in John Unger’s mind when he sent a reflection on that parable, and the parables of the lost coin and lost son, to the National Faith and Life Team (NFLT) in July.

“The Mennonite Brethren Conference in Canada has lost some people who are LGBTQ+, but nobody seems to be looking for them,” said Unger, a former MB pastor, of those who have walked away from the church and even from faith. because they didn’t feel welcome in their churches. 

“Or, if we have gone looking for them, we tell them they are welcome to come back but only on our terms,” he added.

This goes against the letter and spirit of Jesus’ parables, he said, which emphasize the sense of loss the shepherd, woman and father feel over their lost sheep, coins and child. 

“We are losing parts of our family, people slipping out of churches unseen,” he said. “The role of spiritual leaders is to notice.” 

This isn’t only a question for the NFLT, Unger said; it’s a question for the whole MB conference.

“What are we losing? Why are we not following the example of Jesus by searching?

So far, Unger has not heard back from the NFLT. In a message from an NFLT member, it was noted the lack of response can be attributed to the NFLT director being on extended leave, plus summer vacations for other members. 

His reflection is below. 

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On finding what was lost, and holding the family together 

I’ve been pondering the escalation of losses in Jesus; parable of sheep, coins, and sons, particularly as it relates to inclusion/exclusion of LGBTQ+ persons in our churches. 

Lost Sheep 

In Matthew’s telling (18:12ff), a sheep strays, whereupon the shepherd leaves the 99 on the mountain and goes in search of the missing sheep.

Luke’s account (ch. 15) makes no mention of a straying sheep. “Which one of you, having 100 sheep and having lost one of them . . . ”

In the morning, the shepherd had 100 sheep; at end of the day, there are 99. Distracted shepherding? Somehow, somewhere, sometime during the day, the shepherd lost a sheep. 

Most livestock farmers would be quite satisfied with a 1% loss ratio. Many pastors and leaders are okay with it, too. Losing a gay or lesbian member now and then can be expected. Our conference might even lose a church or two.  Limiting our losses to 1-in-a-100 is probably our best possible outcome. 

To this shepherd, however, losing one sheep is not okay. Every sheep matters.

The Lost Coin

Again, for whatever reason, the woman has lost a coin. The loss ratio, however, has increased to 10%. If the coin was part of a 10-piece set, the loss in value is even higher.

There is a frantic search, followed by a joy-filled celebration. What was lost has been found!

In our context, the loss ratio increases as families and friends of LGBTQ+ also leave. The next generation of young people wonder whether they even want to be baptized in this church. Have we noticed? 

The Lost Son(s) 

And then, of course, there is the father with two sons. The actions and reactions of the two (leaving, returning, and walking away) divide the family and threaten its future.  

Forget losses in the 1% or even 10% range.  Here everything is at risk.  

This father faces two challenges: To welcome and reintegrate the younger son back into family life, and, at the same time, to persuade the older son not to leave the party. 

Was the father successful in gathering both sons to his table? We're still waiting for the answer to that question. 

Our Challenge

All of this raises some questions: What would it mean for pastors and conference leaders to “leave the 99” to go looking for lost ones?

What might a “lost but found”; celebration look like?

What would it take to persuade “the 99” (including some pastors) not to walk away?

It’s a tough challenge, retrieving those we have lost while holding the family together.  But that is the task facing parents, pastors, and denominational leaders.  

Lord, have mercy and be gracious to us all.

John Unger is a retired Mennonite Brethren pastor. In June 2021, he and others launched A Time to Listen to hear stories of LGBTQ+ individuals from MB churches across Canada. 

“If all truth is God’s truth, then we should not be afraid to hear the stories of people who are (or used to be) part of our churches.  Wouldn’t it be lovely if our grassroots listening project could come alongside the confessional and pastoral leadership of the National Faith and Life Team so that, together, we can find constructive, imaginative ways forward?”

Trinity Western University Changes Course on Community Covenant, and There's No Backlash

It was big news when the Supreme Court denied an appeal by Trinity Western University (TWU) to have a decision against its law school overturned because of the university’s stance against homosexuality.

It was even bigger news when the school made a change to that stance.

In June, the Court ruled that the law societies of British Columbia and Ontario could refuse to accredit TWU’s proposed law school because of its community covenant.

The chief objection by the societies was how all students were required to sign the covenant, which included a provision that students “abstain” from “sexual intimacy that violates the sacredness of marriage between a man and a woman.”

In making the ruling, the Court agreed with the societies that the covenant discriminated against LGBTQ students.

For many Christians in Canada, the decision was evidence of how the standing of the church in Canada has changed, as well as a blow against religious liberty.

Then, in August, TWU did something unexpected when it decided to make signing the covenant voluntary for students.

In an interview with Faith Today, Canada’s leading evangelical publication, TWU President Bob Kuhn emphasized that the covenant itself had not been changed—it still exists, and faculty and staff have to sign it annually.

By making it voluntary for students, he stated, the school was clarifying that it “does not discriminate in terms of enrollment for any person from any belief or any LGBTQ or other group.”

He went on to say something that also caught some people by surprise: TWU already has LGBTQ students, and many of them say they feel “welcome and embraced and supported” at the school.

They also say it is easier to come out as gay at TWU than at public universities—also quite a statement for him to make.

After hearing Kuhn’s comments, I immediately wondered about the reaction. Would donors cease giving? That’s the big fear church-related organizations have when they think about changing their stance on LGBTQ.

In the back of everyone’s mind is what happened four years ago to World Vision USA when it changed a policy related to LGBTQ.

It was in 2014 that the organization altered its employee conduct manual to recognize same-sex marriage as being within the norms of “abstinence before marriage and fidelity in marriage.”

Then-president Richard Stearns explained to the U.S. evangelical magazine Christianity Today that, in making the change, the organization was not endorsing gay marriage.

Instead, he said, World Vision USA was simply recognizing that gay marriage was like other issues churches that support it disagree on—things like divorce, remarriage, modes of baptism, female clergy.

The change simply made the policy “more consistent with our practice on other divisive issues," he said.

The response was quick and very negative. About 5,000 child sponsors cancelled their donations, a loss of over $1.2 million for the organization. Major evangelical leaders in the U.S. also loudly criticized the move. 

Within two days, World Vision USA reversed course.

Now that TWU has done something similar, would it suffer the consequences? I contacted them to find out.

According to James Tweedy, TWU’s director of marketing, “we haven’t experienced a negative impact on donations. In fact both donations and enrollment continue to be stronger than in prior years.”

Overall, he added, “the response has been largely positive,” although he acknowledged there have been some criticisms based on the mistaken belief the school has eliminated its covenant.

Thinking about the TWU experience makes me wonder if there aren’t some lessons for other church-related organizations facing a similar challenge.

Today, many church-related organizations find themselves in a difficult place. They know they need to modify policies about LGBTQ issues, or face losing a younger generation that is generally more open to gay relationships—their future supporters.

But they worry if they do then their older donors—the ones who donate the most and keep them afloat today—will stop giving.

Maybe the TWU experience shows those fears are overblown—in Canada, at least. 

If a thoroughly evangelical school like TWU can modify its stance on LGBTQ, perhaps other church-related organizations can do the same.

Maybe TWU has done them all a great service by opening the door, and not experiencing a negative response.

Based on a column first published in the Sept. 8, 2018 Winnipeg Free Press.